Children And Divorce, Why Such High Percentage Of Marriages End In Divorce?
Let me tell you about children and divorce. Close to fifty percent of marriages today ends in divorce, and most of those families have one or more children. Majority of the time the parent who is initiating the breakup or divorce is not thinking about the long term effect of the divorce on the children.
Parents are so wrapped up in thinking about themselves that the children feelings and how the divorce will affect them are put on the back burner. When there is a divorce in a family, children tend to become confused and scared because this is a threat on their security. children and divorce
A common problem of children and divorce is that the children sometimes feel guilty. They blame themselves for the problems that caused the divorce. As soon as you realize that the marriage is ending it is your duty to tell your children right away that you might be getting a divorce. Let them know that the decision to get a divorce is not their fault.
Reassure them that you both still love them, and let them know where they will be living. Children need stability, so if possible don’t move the children from that immediate home after the divorce. The parent that the children are going to be living with full time, should stay in the same home if it is possible. It is too much on the children after the divorce if they have too many changes going on at the same time.
Please parents when you are thinking about breaking up a family take some quiet time and think about the impact of children and divorce. Think about how this is going to change theirlives, because you are toying with their future. I often say you are living your future now, don’t rob your children of theirs by having them experience the life of children and divorce.
My father always said that” when you have children you have to make sacrifices. In life there are going to be some bumps, don’t run after you come across the first bump”. Try and work through it for your children sake. Divorce is very difficult for the parent who didn't want the children to experience the hurt, and heartache, of divorce.
That is exactly what I am saying. When things seem to get a little rough around the edges, go seek help before going to the divorce lawyer. Your focus should first be on you children. You are the one who brought them into this world; they didn’t ask to be here. Don’t treat them as if they are not a part if the family too. They are the most important part of the family. They are your dependent, and they are depending on both of you to raise them.
Too often the first thing people think when the going gets rough, is that they want a divorce. What about the commitment to raise your children? I am sorry but child support is not raising children. I know because I have been on both sides of the fence.
Some Common Signs That Trouble Is Brewing Are:
1. Lack of respect for each other, taking each other for granted
2. Communication breaks down, one partner is moody so much so that you find yourself having to choose your words carefully and decide when to say it.
3. Spouse seems to be happier with their friends than with you. When you are together at home your partner seems to be more interested in the TV or the radio than in you, but if the phone rings, they can talk on the phone for hours the TV or the radio is suddenly not so important any more
4. Your partner tends to snap at you every chance he/she gets for no apparent reason, etc.
These are some or the common signs, that your marriage is in trouble, and you might be closer to a divorce. Think about your children, and seek help first, before you seek to find the best divorce lawyer. With dedication to counseling first, children and divorce will not be eliminated, but will be fewer.
Children And Divorce, Go To Child Support Payments