How Terrifying Dating After Divorce Is If You Haven’t Dated For Awhile
Dating after divorce can be terrifying especially if you haven’t dated for a while, but don’t forget both you and your date may be feeling scared. Women share two major emotions when it comes to dating after divorce: anxiety (not knowing what to expect, and wondering if it is too early after the divorce to start dating again) and guilt (the feeling of guilt for going out without the kids).
You should make sure that you are emotionally ready to get back in the dating scene after the divorce. Ensure that you have set aside the baggage from your last relationship. I know that you will still have lingering issues, but don’t let it control your life. Don’t let your ex. who is out of your life hold you as a mental hostage. When dating after divorce, if you are just dating to see if you are still hot, you need to be up front with your date before hand.
Let him know that you are just dating after divorce, and you are checking to see what is out there. Tell your date that you took some time out of the dating scene for quite a while, and you know that dating has since changed. This way your date can feel comfortable knowing that you are not desperate. Thus, he won’t have to be worried that you are going to stalk him out of desperation.
Ladies, don’t act really desperate as if you are dying to get hitched with a man. Men can spot a desperate woman from a mile away. Don’t operate as if the man is God’s gift to the world, by being all over him, acting like he is your friend’s new born baby that just came from the hospital. Give the man some breathing space, get off him. Men see this behavior as needy, and men don’t like needy women, this conduct turns him off instantly, men prefer a chase just like the animal in the forest.
The lion/ tiger get its fun (turn-on) by chasing its prey. There is no fun when you just hands the meat to an animal. Of course like men they will eat the easy meat because they are hungry, but they enjoy the challenge much more. Don’t take that away from them. Always remember that it’s not the kill, but the chase that is exciting.
When women act “needy” this makes a man think that men are NOT staying with you a reason, and so for that same reason, he will lose interest too. This is only because you came on too strong and in his mind you are trying to latch on to him out of desperation. Your actions scare him off, and he runs away like a frightened thief in the night.
In the meantime, the truth is you just came back on the dating scene after divorce, and you don’t want to date for too long before settling down. You just want to find Mr. Right as soon as possible and get out of the game. But keep in mind that you might have to date a lot of frogs before you find your prince.
For your first date go to public places especially if you met that individual online. Dating after divorce, a coffee shop is a good place to meet, because it is public and casual. Don’t rule out a casual restaurant, a public park for a stroll where you can talk while enjoying the outdoors, bowling etc. Basically anywhere where you can talk and get to know each other. Another note to remember: the first date is not the place to tell your date that he should not be eating meat. Save your animal rights activist action for later.
Ladies, I know that you love to talk, but learn to listen on your dates. You can learn a lot. When dating, don’t say negative things about your ex. You can just say it didn’t work out, or you outgrew each other. Listen, listen, listen, and read between the lines. Some men still want to play games. If they are lying about something they will slip up. If you find him lying don’t yell “got you”, Just keep it to yourself until your short date is over.
Don’t be the first to call him after your date, even if you think the date was successful. Let him do his chase. You don’t want it to look as though you are more interested in him than he is in you.
if you have young kids at home, and you are dating after divorce, be careful of having a man move into your home before you really get to know him. As bad as this reality may seem, some men only want to get with you so that they can be close to your sons or daughters, always be alert.
Dating After Divorce, Go To: Dating Older Women